In loving memory,
The Mission District, 1776 - 2014
The Mission District, also commonly called "The Mission", died this year after a long battle against gentrification, hyper-inequality, and income segregation.
The place formerly known as The Mission is survived by thousands of adopted sons wearing tight skinny jeans, drinking expensive caffeinated drinks, carrying shiny displays assembled East of Cupertino, and sporting 1890s facial hair.
They now live in the place that was previously inhabited by Yelamu indians, Spanish missionaries and conquistadores, Ohlone tribes, Irish, Italian, German, Polish, and Mexican immigrants, Chicano, South American, Guatemalan and Salvadorian communities.
A memorial service was held on March 18, 2014 by some long time residents of The Mission, including poets, artists, teachers, and musicians, who were efficiently evicted shortly after the reception.
They will be greatly missed.